crawling on back to you

What? What's this?

A blog? What's that?

jckandy? Dafuq?

Another infamous, long-awaited (maybe not) return by the one and only JAECY BELLS.

Just like many people, I have that endearing quality of taking up a hobby with full force before losing interest and discarding it. Sort of like dogs do, with their chew toys, when they realize that nobody cares that they have it.

What brought on this round of blogging? Well, ladies and gentlemen, several things.

1. Recent months (more like a year and a half) have seen a decline in my writing. I haven't been writing stories. I haven't written many poems or songs. I haven't been journaling. The idea here is that with an AUDIENCE awaiting (we shall see) it will be easier.

2. I am at that place in your life where adults ask you "What are you doing after high school?" and I used to use witty answers such as "get knocked up and married" or "take off to Europe and busk on street corners" but they stopped being funny when I considered the reality of keeping my job at Subway until I'm seventy-nine years old.

Now, here is what I think about choosing a career that you will do the rest of your life. It should be something that you a)enjoy and b) are actually good at. I mean, sure. You can practice something to gain skill-- like me playing volleyball. Believe me, I'm no natural athlete. And sure, I enjoy the sport, and I have built myself into a respectable player. But will I ever be as good as the players on my team that don't even have to think about the mechanics of it? The players that just effortlessly dig up back row hits, lunging and diving, and don't even have to worry about fitting into their tiny spandex shorts? Well, no.

I have tons of things that I like to do. I like art stuff, in a nutshell. I like playing piano and singing. I like editing videos. I like designing posters or graphic things. But the one thing that I believe that I both truly love, and am truly good at, is writing.

So, here's the problem. When "becoming a writer" is your answer to the career counselor's primary question, you have to be prepared to have some backup plans. Because being a writer, in a teacher (or parents') eyes is roughly akin to buying a one-way ticket to Hollywood and becoming a famous actor.

(in my defense, writing is respectable-- I could have told my parents I want to be a rock star.)

So, how will a blog help my plan to be a writer? It gives me practice. And it gives me a name on the Internet. So there. That is my reason.

3. It's summer time, and since my job as a Subway sandwich artist doesn't occupy my every waking moment... I'm bored. I need a creative pursuit.


It was interesting, unearthing this blog from the Matrix of Internet code. I went through my profile, cringing at the things my younger self had put as my interests.

As you bloggers will know, there's a spot to put your favorite books. Guess what my first four spots were taken up by? OH WAIT-- "Twilight". "New Moon." "Eclipse". "Breaking Dawn."

That's embarrassing.

It took my seventh-grade self an awkwardly long time to come to terms with the realization that those books were not respectable literature. I mean, Steph Meyer certainly caused a vampire sensation. Hats off to her-- those were the first vampire stories I had ever read, and the concept was fascinating (to the thirteen-year-old brain.) But, sadly, the writing just wasn't up to snuff. And, really, there was some unbelievable teenage bullshit.

I'm sorry, but eighteen-year-old couples (I guess the glittery vampire was like ninety, but whatevs) don't have that much RESTRAINT. I know Edward was a positive saint and everything, with all his limited touching of his girlfriend, but to make a love story believable, there has to be a little physical action in there.

Like sex. Sorry to be vulgar, but it's 2013. It's just not very believable, otherwise.


For my music taste, I had something like three artists listed-- The Phantom of the Opera was number one.


JAECY. Okay, I went through a tiny obsession with that dark musical. And yes, I think Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote some riveting music there. And yes, I would go to see the musical again. But was that honestly all I listened to back in the day? That's strange to think about.

I'm much more musical than I used to be-- I joined Band in high school (yes, mega-band-geek) and I made some friends of the rock n' roll variety. So now I listen to old music, but it's because I like it. I used to never know what to listen to-- I would ask people to make me playlists of what was "cool" music, because I never knew. Now, I just listen to what I enjoy. Sometimes it's eighties rock ballads, sometimes it's obscure jazz from a local artist, sometimes it's the Grease soundtrack. I listen to what I love now, and even though people occasionally groan when I put on my "stoner music" I don't care because it's what I like.

People grow. People change. I'm a lot more comfortable with myself than I was the last time I avidly blogged.

Now, I am seventeen years old. I drive a 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass. I sing in front of crowds. I'm the president of the Student Council in my school. I'm a published poet. All I want out of life is to make a living out of writing.



No comments: