The Last Day of School

Needless to say, the last day of school was veerrry interesting. More than one thing happened.

Well, firstly, the morning. We didn't really do much exciting in the morning: we had to build a bridge out of newspaper and staples. I was partnered with someone who I really despise, but we ended up with the winning bridge anyways, holding twenty grams of weight. Ha ha.
I had a physio appointment at noon. There is nothing interesting at all to say about physio.

When I got back, my class walked over to the high school and seated ourselves at some tables for the hypnotist. We were all really jazzed; we'd never seen hypnotization before. (is hypnotization a word? it should be.) Anyhoo, half the school scrambled up on stage when he inquired about volunteers. They hypnotist guy, Sebastion or something, asked: "Has anyone here been hypnotized before?"
Numerous hands went up.
"Good. If you've been hypnotized before, your subconscious mind remembers it, and it makes it easier." He walked up to Jacklyn, whose hand was raised. "What's your name?"

"And have you been hypnotized before, Jacklyn?"
"Okay. Look into my eyes-- deep breath in, deep breath out, SLEEP." he snapped his fingers and she immediately slumped over forwards. The seventh graders, the amateurs, gaped at each other in shock. It looked fake...but it wasn't.
He started out with a stageful of people, but some of them couldn't go under, so they grudgingly picked up their chairs and walked off. He was left with a semicircle of hypnotized students. He made them sit on a hot beach, while they fanned themselves frantically. They showed off with sexy poses for someone walking past them. They got dumped, and they then were sent to the North Pole. They huddled up there, freezing, and he told them that the person next to them was the warmest person in the world. The hysterical result was curling up and cuddling with people that they didn't really know. When they snapped out of it, they crawled away from The Warmest Person in the World with disgust.
Another funny one was when he told them that the number two didn't exist. Then he told them they were all quarantined because of this virus that made you grow extra limbs.
"Has anyone here been in contact with someone with extra limbs?" He asked. Shelby raised her hand. He called on her, asking who.
"My cat has six toes," She told him. He brought her up to the front.
"Shelby, do you pet your cat?"
"And he has six fingers, right?"
"Okay. I'm going to point to your fingers, and you count them out loud, okay?"

So, in turn, he pointed to each finger and she counted them aloud.
"One, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten..." big pause. In a tiny little voice--"Eleven."
(If you skim read, go back and read that to make sense.)
Everyone started screaming, and Shelby started crying. He told them to count their eyes.
"One, three. AUUUUUUGH!"
"Count your nostrils!"
"One, three. AUGH!" Screamed the whole stage.
"Count your buttcheeks!"
And so on, and so on.
"Now, now, guys, you may not have gotten the virus from Shelby..."
"YES, WE DID. SHE'S FROM SIMPSON!" A guy named Travis bellowed.
Which was really quite hysterical.

The show ended with strutting around and striking a hot model pose. The song was the one that goes, "I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car, too sexy by far..." It was hilarious.

We all went to dance...which is another incident...for later.


Anonymous said...

That's too halarious! I would have loved to see that! Lucky you. Were you ever hypnotized during the presentation?
It's definately weird how the human mind works, isn't it? Hmm...wonder if someone could learn basic hypnotism online.
Anyway, sound like you had a wicked awesome day, even more wicked awesome then mine!
Merry Christmas, JC, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2009 will freakin' rock! With luck, it'll be the year we both a published.

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